Dreams o f vodka and beach filled days

For a long time I lived near the shore. I connected eith it. I felt like the ocean was a part of everything that I did, and pursued. Years have passed and I am the furthest now that I have ever been. Alot like Madison in Splash, I feel disconnected. My life has taken a differetnt course. The water still calls though. It's possible not to have to choose one life or the other, it's possilbe to TRY to make the two connect. I, like most people habe spent ALOT of time figuring out who I am. This whole time, it would have been easier to see who I am not.

This is not my beautiful house.....

Here's the thing- I never wanted any of this. I wanted to shave my head, dye my hair pink, and be "different". But, ohhhh that was the dream of all of us in the late 90's wasn't it? Here is the horror- I live in Connecticut. I have a McMansion. I have a Camry. I have a husband. I have a child. I have a full-time successful career in the field I chose. SELL OUT SELL OUT. Is finding out that the life you despised is one you could be happy with so terrible? Have I become older and wiser or just boring and common.

I think longing for the past is natural, but what the hell am I longing for?

I really just want to dye my hair pink.......